I need a change. I'm longing for something that I'm not quite sure that I know what it is. It's a mystery and it's tearing me apart. I can be perfectly content on most days, but then there are these days, days where I realize that this doesn't last forever.
Life is short, and it just seems to be getting shorter as the minutes pass on the clock. I'm a junior in college, and the time has flown by. I have two more years to complete my dream job: to work with children. There have been many ups and downs on this road, and I'm sure there will continue to be. I have been short-changed by my university and I'm counting the days until I can get out of here. I'm tired of working my way to becoming a teacher, and I just want to be there. I want to have my own classroom and to love on the kids I receive as students.
Life's been great, for the most part.
I live with my family (parents, 2 brothers and twin sister) at the home I've lived in since I was 4 or 5 years old. I'm blessed to have a family that I love and get along with (99.9% of the time). But then there are days, weeks, or even months where I long for that independence; that separation from my family. Not that I don't love them or want to be with them, but I need to have my own time. It's a hard feeling to explain. But I want my own place, I want to be able to come and go as I please and not plan it around the entire families schedule. I feel like I am in high school, still -- but I am 20 years old. But if I express my feelings, and that I want this independence, my parents will say, "Fine, but you have to pay for everything, you have to cover your car insurance, your cell phone, your food, your portion on electricity, etc." And you see, I don't have the income to do that. I work at most 18 hours per pay check (for Cardio Kinetics, Inc. I work about 5 more hours a week doing childcare)...not because I don't want the hours, but because I can't manage to work more with classes. I can't just give up on school, when I've come this far.
It's basically win-lose situation. And right now, I'm losing.
And then there comes relationships. My best friend, Matthew, is probably one of the best things that's happened to me in a while. We have our "moments" but he's always there for me. He loves me unconditionally, and he knows everything there is to know about me. Here's the catch, though, he lives 1500 miles away (in Montana). It's hard sometimes, I'm not going to lie. It's excruciating to live day in and day out with the one you love, not there in arms reach. To have to juggle your schedule to try and make time to talk on the phone (which seems to be five minutes or less, nowadays). He's a busy guy, and then I'm busy to some extent, too. I just hope someday we can work it out that we're not this far away from each other...
So, maybe this isn't a need for an adventure. Maybe it's me, just needing to be satisfied with what I have in my life. Maybe I need to start being wiser and saving up to accomplish my goal of leaving the house and getting a place of my own. I don't know. I pray the answers come in time...for now this is a smattering of words strewn across the web.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
spreading the word.
“It is written, ‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.’” [NIV]
it is a darn shame that some people just don’t understand, they don’t know, are naive, and just won’t listen anymore. i’ve seen so much controversy as of late, about believing in Him and that people are pushing their religion on others, etc. i understand that some people just aren’t ready to hear about the Truth, but don’t be rude to those who are trying to share the Good News. we [us, christians] are doing what we’ve been told, to spread the Gospel.
Romans 10: 14-17
“How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed our message?” Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.”
_______________________________________________________
my friends, we are simply just doing what we’ve been told. my apologies to those who have a skewed version of Christianity, and who view it simply as just a “religion.” it is so much more. it’s a relationship with the only Perfect Being. who doesn’t long for a perfect relationship? my apologies to those who have heard about God, through the Gospel being “shoved down their throat.” that is not how I wish you would’ve heard it. [however, some are taught that way & may not know better.]
it’s a genuine story about love. and my prayer is that one day “every knee will bow and every tongue confess.” until then, i’ll be doing my part in sharing the greatest Story of all. i’m planting the seed and praying God helps make it grow.
it is a darn shame that some people just don’t understand, they don’t know, are naive, and just won’t listen anymore. i’ve seen so much controversy as of late, about believing in Him and that people are pushing their religion on others, etc. i understand that some people just aren’t ready to hear about the Truth, but don’t be rude to those who are trying to share the Good News. we [us, christians] are doing what we’ve been told, to spread the Gospel.
Romans 10: 14-17
“How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” But not all the Israelites accepted the good news. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed our message?” Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.”
_______________________________________________________
my friends, we are simply just doing what we’ve been told. my apologies to those who have a skewed version of Christianity, and who view it simply as just a “religion.” it is so much more. it’s a relationship with the only Perfect Being. who doesn’t long for a perfect relationship? my apologies to those who have heard about God, through the Gospel being “shoved down their throat.” that is not how I wish you would’ve heard it. [however, some are taught that way & may not know better.]
it’s a genuine story about love. and my prayer is that one day “every knee will bow and every tongue confess.” until then, i’ll be doing my part in sharing the greatest Story of all. i’m planting the seed and praying God helps make it grow.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
here's to sock tans
and so the craziness begins.
for those of you who don't know, i am starting my third year in college. and i am also a member of the UofD marching band, and well, band camp starts today! i'm excited to be reunited with some great friends and i cannot wait to be set in a regular routine.
i don't go into campus until about 4:00pm, today. and i can't wait to see my friends; i have the best group of friends [picture at bottom]. the best group of girls, out of the 300+ members.
and so with band starting that brings our daily practice of 8:00am-11:00pm starting monday-saturday, with a shorter practice next sunday. in this time we get the show on the field, memorize the music, and put the marching and music together. and with all this time outside i'm sure to have a fabulous sock tan. [you can always tell who's in band, walking on campus by looking at their ankles the first week or so of school] it's a whirl-wind experience, but a great one.
for those who don't know, i play the clarinet, and i have since fourth grade. playing an instrument has had its ups/downs, but playing in college has been one of the best experiences. and not to mention you get to go into the football games for free! can't beat that.
so here's to sock tans and another year of fun.
[robin, sarah, me, brianna]
Friday, April 22, 2011
He Did It Just For You
by Max Lucado
When God entered time and became a man, he who was boundless became bound. Imprisoned in flesh. Restricted by weary-prone muscles and eyelids. For more than three decades, his once limitless reach would be limited to the stretch of an arm, his speed checked to the pace of human feet.
I wonder, was he ever tempted to reclaim his boundlessness? In the middle of a long trip, did he ever consider transporting himself to the next city? When the rain chilled his bones, was he tempted to change the weather? When the heat parched his lips, did he give thought to popping over to the Caribbean for some refreshment?
If ever he entertained such thoughts, he never gave in to them. Not once. Stop and think about this. Not once did Christ use his supernatural powers for personal comfort. With one word he could’ve transformed the hard earth into a soft bed, but he didn’t. With a wave of his hand, he could’ve boomeranged the spit of his accusers back into their faces, but he didn’t. With an arch of his brow, he could’ve paralyzed the hand of the soldier as he braided the crown of thorns. But he didn’t.
Want to know the coolest thing about the coming?
Not that he, in an instant, went from needing nothing to needing air, food, a tub of hot water and salts for his tired feet, and, more than anything, needing somebody—anybody—who was more concerned about where he would spend eternity than where he would spend Friday’s paycheck.
Not that he kept his cool while the dozen best friends he ever had felt the heat and got out of the kitchen. Or that he gave no command to the angels who begged, “Just give the nod, Lord. One word and these demons will be deviled eggs.”
Not that he refused to defend himself when blamed for every sin since Adam. Or that he stood silent as a million guilty verdicts echoed in the tribunal of heaven and the giver of light was left in the chill of a sinner’s night.
Not even that after three days in a dark hole he stepped into the Easter sunrise with a smile and a swagger and a question for lowly Lucifer—“Is that your best punch?”
That was cool, incredibly cool.
But want to know the coolest thing about the One who gave up the crown of heaven for a crown of thorns?
He did it for you. Just for you.
From His Name is Jesus
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2009) Max Lucado
When God entered time and became a man, he who was boundless became bound. Imprisoned in flesh. Restricted by weary-prone muscles and eyelids. For more than three decades, his once limitless reach would be limited to the stretch of an arm, his speed checked to the pace of human feet.
I wonder, was he ever tempted to reclaim his boundlessness? In the middle of a long trip, did he ever consider transporting himself to the next city? When the rain chilled his bones, was he tempted to change the weather? When the heat parched his lips, did he give thought to popping over to the Caribbean for some refreshment?
If ever he entertained such thoughts, he never gave in to them. Not once. Stop and think about this. Not once did Christ use his supernatural powers for personal comfort. With one word he could’ve transformed the hard earth into a soft bed, but he didn’t. With a wave of his hand, he could’ve boomeranged the spit of his accusers back into their faces, but he didn’t. With an arch of his brow, he could’ve paralyzed the hand of the soldier as he braided the crown of thorns. But he didn’t.
Want to know the coolest thing about the coming?
Not that he, in an instant, went from needing nothing to needing air, food, a tub of hot water and salts for his tired feet, and, more than anything, needing somebody—anybody—who was more concerned about where he would spend eternity than where he would spend Friday’s paycheck.
Not that he kept his cool while the dozen best friends he ever had felt the heat and got out of the kitchen. Or that he gave no command to the angels who begged, “Just give the nod, Lord. One word and these demons will be deviled eggs.”
Not that he refused to defend himself when blamed for every sin since Adam. Or that he stood silent as a million guilty verdicts echoed in the tribunal of heaven and the giver of light was left in the chill of a sinner’s night.
Not even that after three days in a dark hole he stepped into the Easter sunrise with a smile and a swagger and a question for lowly Lucifer—“Is that your best punch?”
That was cool, incredibly cool.
But want to know the coolest thing about the One who gave up the crown of heaven for a crown of thorns?
He did it for you. Just for you.
From His Name is Jesus
© (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2009) Max Lucado
Monday, April 18, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
i like it. a lot.
isn't this the most beautiful engagement ring..ever? i was going through the archive of my photo blog and saw i posted this photo back in september of last year...i love the simplicity, yet the unique style and detail. and it's not too "glitzy" like some rings..it's me.
dear future husband, if you're reading this. take good notes. ;)
Thursday, April 7, 2011
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