My sweet Daughter,

honesty is what I ask of you.

to get down to the deep hurts.

to allow me into the rough.

accept that you need me.

that I am enough for you.

that you are enough for me.

I enjoy taking on your yoke.

so that you may take on mine.

un-satisfaction leads to dependence.

so let go & let me in.

break down & move those walls.

all I ask is for your all.

carrying your cross each day.

but that shouldn’t be a burden.

if you allow me to carry it with you.

it will be a joy.

let me be your joy.

I don’t need your hand, I just want it.

honesty is what I ask of you.

via

thankful for those days.

I will be quite honest with you. I was a bitter young lady, this morning. I was grumpy, tired, and a concerned soul. 

Waking at 3:00am and not being able to pass the “almost asleep” stage.

My good friend isn't talking. He has been on my heart and I’m concerned for him, but he’s the type who locks all emotion up in him and doesn’t budge. I’m the kind who likes to help when “problems” arise, and not being able to is troubling sometimes. 

But I have since gone on a run; the kind of run where you run and just keep running. Your mind carries you and you reflect and simply think. 

And it got me thinking, I don’t have control over this life of mine, nor his. I have this tendency to like to have control over certain things {which is surprising because of my care-free attitude towards most of life}. And I realized I don’t. God ultimately has control and it’s a bitter battle between He and I. 

But in this run, my attitude switched, recognizing all I have to be thankful for. And I am thankful for the listening-ears that He’s provided, and the willingness to listen when appropriate. I cannot push one to talk, so that I can get satisfaction in helping them. I need to have the opposite motive. I need to want to listen, because I want to listen, not so that I can feel better about myself; like another “gold star” for me.

Moreover, I’m thankful for the discovery of new things. Be it music, quotes, people.

As I posted the video, “You Don’t Know How Lucky You Are,” I realized I truly, in it’s truest sense, don’t know how “lucky” I really am. I posted yesterday about being experienced, and I got a kind note from a dear friend. She stated something like being content in where you are and being able to find “experience” in the everyday things. It rang close to home for me. I can travel fifteen minutes away, in two different directions, and be in two different states.

Shoot, how could I not experience something glorious out there? I’ve got to recognize and appreciate what I have, for all it’s worth. By doing so, I believe I could become more experienced — and if not experienced, than definitely thankful.   

So, thank you. Thank you to Him for bringing light on the subject, in which I am having difficulty with. I’m in a much better place this afternoon

being proud of the worn out.

Do you have that bible that you take everywhere? The one you stick in your backpack, in your purse, shove into the backseat of your car, to small group and then to church? It’s coming apart at the seams, there are sections of pages that could fall out at any turn of the page, there are notes from the past five years or more, it’s over flowing with bulletins and handouts. 

My bible is starting to become that bible. It’s starting to become the one with notes in the margins, where I have come across a verse in two different stages in my life, and I’ve had to differentiate the notes by two different colored pens. Where I have to be careful that the index cards don’t fall out, from the small groups I’ve been to, or that the one or two handouts/bulletins don’t fall out. 

And I found myself thinking to myself, this afternoon, as I went over the scriptures at how much I do use my bible. I’m not saying this to boast or to try and portray that I am better than you because I use my bible more; I certainly am not.

But that’s where sometimes my pride takes over. I sit next to someone in a small group and they say flip to 1 Peter chapters 3 & 4, for example. Boom. I’ve got notes and underlines and brackets filling those pages. I glance over to the person next to me and they’ve got maybe one or two things underlined. And then this horrible thing happens. I think to myself, I must be better at studying the bible. Say what?! This could be a sin. {maybe?} I use my mind to pretend to slap my wrist, like shame on me. How do I have the audacity to think this? Am I a horrible person for thinking this? 

That’s where it got me thinking. I’ve got this bible, one that I’ve had since being baptized a few years back. It’s filled, pages crinkled and binding coming undone. I ask myself, am I still using this to study or as a way to show pride? Do I continue to bring this bible to church to show off at how much I use it? 

Then I ask myself, should I transition into another bible and begin my journey again through the passages? I can still use my other bible at home for personal study, but if it distracts me and causes me to be prideful I need to leave it at home. I feel bad for admitting this, but it’s the honest to God truth. I can’t be proud of the worn out bible, in order to try and show myself off. 

It’s time to start a new chapter of my life with a new bible. 

a year in the making.

if you told me this time last year, that i would have participated in five different races in one year, i would have laughed in your face. i am ever grateful for the ability to run. and i’m thankful for the motivation that i’ve received from family and friends, but also the motivation inside of myself that grew.

i didn’t like running, it’s a love/hate relationship with me. i love running because it makes me feel better; the feeling after a run is exhilarating — be it one mile or five miles. i hate running because i don’t have the motivation all of the time. i don’t always have the will to get myself out and off a chair to get outside. i love running because it relieves stress and it allows me to get outside and clear my head. i hate running because i’m not the fastest at it, but my God i love running because it’s pushed me so far and i’ve come a long ways from before! do you get the point? 

running is amazing and if you have the ability to experience it, i would definitely recommend it {did i, megan, just say that?! — shocker} you will grow, you will discover yourself on the runs and you will find that motivation deep inside of you. but, goodness, do it for yourself, and no one else. do it because you strive to be healthy, mentally and physically. 

i’m ever grateful for that journey of seeking motivation to come to where i am today. it’s been 13 months in the making, and i’m sure i’ve got plenty more ahead of me. there will be days where i don’t feel like running — like today, but i’m already dressed and about to head out the door. push through it & you’ll thank yourself in about thirty minutes. 

Matthew 6:25-34

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about your clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

We read this last night, as a part of large group’s sermon. It really hit home as things shift from the busyness of school, to summer. I will be the first to admit that I do worry about the future.

I do worry — how am I going to build up my savings account {prepping for getting out of college} when I only work all of 12 hours in a week? How am I going to make it, paying my “bills” monthly, when I can barely get by pay-check to pay-check. 

I do worry about school. I’ve had my set-backs in college, learning lessons, and I am “paying” for them. As much as I would love to be done next year, I will most likely be going an extra year or so. It’s not ideal, but it’s something I’m learning to cope with. 

And I was reminded last night that I need not worry, for He already knows what is on my heart. He knows the things that I really need. It’s a marvelous thing, you know? If only I can recognize that all of the time. And I was reminded that when worrying comes my way that I only need to pray — recognize the good in the situation, praise Him for that, and ask Him to help me through this struggle. Grant-it, it’s much easier said than done. But there is definitely truth to that. If I take the time to pray, just be still, and pray, be it every five minutes that I need to rejuvenate my faith or every few hours, etc. I need to pray. And by doing this, you’re slowly letting God take control of the situation {this will be hard for those area’s of my life that I am a control-freak about} and the worrying will subside. 

I got to thinking this morning, as I reread that passage, and I think I’m going to take on this challenge. I didn’t give my life to Him for no reason, I gave it to Him to take ownership — it’s about time I start letting Him take control again. 

season.

i read this, this morning, and i find these words stinging and yet promising. i've had my fair share of ups and downs through this season of my life and i pray that a new season comes along, soon. to embrace this season of my life is something that i need to learn to do, with grace. i know it's a transitional period, but my Lord, i don't know how much longer i can handle it. 

don't get me wrong, i am enjoying myself and loving my fair share of life, but i just know there is something greater out there, for me. i'm longing for something more.

i'm thankful for a very influential book i've picked up this past week, A Heart Like His {Beth Moore}. it's teaching me about the life of David and the trials and tribulations he's encountered. i find myself relating to some very key parts of his life and i long to keep reading, hoping i can find a peace within and a strength from up above. 


picture credit

Balancing Opposite-Sex Friendships

My dearest twenty-one year old girl,

This letter may come as a hurtful surprise to you, but please, keep reading.  I know that right now you don’t understand boundaries between a man and a woman.  You’re not even sure yet why, when and how they exist.  And right now you’re naive to the fact that in friendships, emotions and pasts and physical touch can be confusing and messy and lead down hurtful roads.  You’re a “guy’s girl”.  We all know one—the kind of girl who thinks that most women on this earth except for her are catty and jealous and can’t be trusted.

There’s a reason why, right now, I’m referring to you as a “girl”.

There is an unhealthy balance in seeking out more friendships with the opposite sex than your own.  Let’s be honest—guys and girls were made opposite sexes for a reason, and it wasn’t to just be friends.  Is it possible to maintain friendships with each other? Absolutely.  But we should learn our limits in those friendships, especially in those crucial teens and twenties when we are figuring out ourselves and the world around us.

Darling—no man, no matter how good of a friend he is to you, should be the one you confide in about all the turbulent places this world will take your sweet heart and mind.  He cannot be your validation when your self-esteem has been challenged, and he will not be able to speak into those inherent longings inside you that only a woman would understand.  Remember that who you need to be filled with is the One who made you, not the one standing in front of you. 

While you are not responsible for the choice a man makes to lust, don’t intentionally drive a man in your life to do so.  And if you find out he is struggling, don’t bring him down or punish him.  Encourage him to seek help and show him grace.

That guy you’re talking to whose heart is wrapped up in or committed to someone else?  Take a step away, love.  Offering parts of yourself to someone who can’t offer anything back will only hurt you in the long run.  It is not up to you to change his heart.

Be wary of what you post online and how much of yourself you’re letting the world in on for free.  Those photos of yourself and the guys you’re with do not do justice to the heart beating inside of you.  Think of everything you want to give your future husband and don’t give those things away to people who aren’t him.  When you meet that man who you want to spend the rest of your life with, you’ll want him to trust you with other guys and know he is getting all of you.

Now here’s one you’re really not going to want to hear— If one of you in an opposite sex friendship is dating someone, don’t spend ample time alone with each other.  And don’t seek out the wrong kind of relationship advice from your opposite sex friends.  You know the type—when you really only want to hear what will validate you and not what is best for everyone involved. 

Love your brothers as Christ would—equally and unconditionally.  Respect their hearts and the place they are in, but show the same care and give the same encouragement to all.

If one of your friends is struggling, walk with him in encouragement, love, and lack of judgment, but also direct your friend to mentors, counselors and disciplers who have the wisdom and experience to establish long-term help.

Recognize spiritual warfare in one another and pray against it.  Fight for each other’s hearts in Christ.

Seek out other ladies.  Surround yourself with strong women who have been there and done that, or who can speak true feminine wisdom into this season of your life.  Don’t boast in “men just understanding you better.”  Men and women were not created with the same hearts.  Cherish the femininity in yours and find good women to share it with.

And remember that you are worth so much more than what you’ve already lost.  Your God is the Father of redemption, and you are one of His delivered.  Let your friendships with the men in your life reflect that always.

Love,

Yourself, four years wiser

[Because sometimes the very words we need to hear are our own]

via Shannonicole