Dearest 2013,

Help me to listen, to love, to appreciate, to stop, to embrace, to make mistakes — and then learn from them. Help me to read more, for my own pleasure. Help me to get out of my small box, to explore more, to buy myself flowers just because, help me to accept change better, to check off my 20’s list — as best I can. 

My new year, help me to stay active in new ways — go skydiving and don’t put it off, run more and consistently, try something new. Save more, because I know my more “adult years” are coming quickly! Make others a priority over me, love them — though it may be difficult. 

Oh, and don’t let me be so hard on myself (though at times it’s good). Help me to accept myself and my mistakes — don’t let me dwell on the past. I’ve got far too much life ahead of me to dwell. Reach out to new friends, new relationships, new acquaintances — they may not work out, or they may stick in my life forever. Let them happen or you’ll never know. 

Finally, my new year, help me keep focused on the one thing in life that matters most — Christ. Help me to gain strength in Christ, daily, to know Him more, to be reminded of Him when I stray (because He knows I will). I need His help to love Him more, and help me to not give up. Help me to remind myself that I’ll make it through — I always do, with Him. 

It’s been a good one 2012,

Meg

It's Complete.

The 20's Project 

1. Read the entire bible.

2. Ride a motorcycle 

3. Skydive

4. Get a full-body message 

5. Memorize an entire chapter of the Bible

6. Backpack part of Appalachian Trail

7. Order breakfast in bed room service, at a fancy hotel. 

8. Run a half marathon

9. Glacier Park

10. Visit 5 National Parks

11. Visit New York City

12. Travel to Europe 

13. Try a cigar

14. Go to a Sara Bareilles concert

15. Visit California

16. Go to a vineyard & wine taste

17. Start my teaching career

18. Attend a NFL Football game

19. Take a cooking class

20. Serve on a missions Trip

Dear First Grader,

Trying to explain to a very distraught you, that you can have more than one best friend was a tough task today. You’ll learn you will have many friends, many acquaintances. You’ll have enemies and you’ll have those people who annoy you.

But my dear, you’ll have those people in your life who will be the one’s who stick around, who are always there through thick and thin, who can trust you with the weight of their world, who you can rely on and those who know you better than anyone else — those are the one’s who you will call your best friends. I pray you embrace them because they come few and far between. 

With love,

Miss Megan

half marathon.

It’s been updated! No. 8 is now crossed off, my friends. 

grasp.

I’m having a difficult time trying to grasp the idea that I’ll be running 13.1 miles (at one time) in about thirty-six hours. It’s tough. I’m excited — but the nervousness is taking over. I’m so stinkin’ nervous.

There’s a plus side to the course I’ll be completing Saturday morning — that it’s all flat. I’ve been training on hills and I am hoping this will be to my advantage. I have a goal time — it’s personal. I’m relying on the sheer strength of God to make it, to complete it, and to feel accomplished. For those who know me, know that running doesn’t come easy, but I do it — I do it for me. Prayers would be appreciated, not only that I properly prepare my mind for this, but for the strength to complete it. You guys have been a fabulous support system, and a thank you is not nearly enough!

-meg 

Hands and Feet.

"And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation." (Mark 16:15) 

I’m excited for what’s happening in my heart, in our hearts right now. There is a group of five girls, myself included, that have been brought together — tonight was our first meeting, out of weeks of trying to make this small group happen. 

We’re reading Undaunted, by Christine Caine. We were to read the introduction and the first chapter. My word, friends — He is stirring in our hearts. Tonight we focused on the simple, but oh so big question, “Why didn’t you come sooner?” 

For those of you who don’t know who Christine Caine is, she is a God-loving woman, Greek, and from Australia (and SO much more). But she has had the calling of reaching out to young ladies in sex-trafficking. I first heard her speak at Passion 2012 conference, in ATL, GA.  In Undaunted, Caine speaks about her conversation with young girls whom she helped rescue from the brothels, they asked her, “Why didn’t you come sooner?” 

This is a question that has tackled my heart, and is just urging myself and this group of girls to take action. We need to actively become Christ’s “hands and feet.” We talked about one young ladies’ call to international missions, but collectively decided to pray and earnestly seek Christ and show Christ in the local city of Wilmington. 

There was a long discussion, prayers, comments, and just an overwhelming emotion to make the young, Christian community known there. We want to help do our part in this generation, who’s yet to succeed in a way to evangelize effectively, in the local city. We have big ideas — we have ideas that are molding and we pray will form into something so successful, ultimately for the glory of God. 

My friends, we need your help — please pray. Prayer is one of the most powerful tools that we can use, here. We need to seek God. Pray that we are actively seeking Him. We are taking small steps, we are looking to reach out of our comfortable lives and spread His word. I don’t want to be comfortable anymore. 

“God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.” 

Next Saturday will be our first outreach. I humbly ask that you pray for us — pray for open hearts, minds, for us to be uncomfortable, for us to have hearts like servants for our Father. Prayer for us to prepare ourselves for reaching out to the homeless — that we can share with them, talk with them. Pray that we can be His hands and feet. 

"for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." (2 Timothy 1:7)

It's Been on My Heart.

The 2012 Presidential Election has increasingly become a heavy, thoughtful, anxious, and concerning thing on my heart. Maybe it’s because I can actually vote in this election? Maybe it’s because I did research on each candidate? Maybe it’s because the future of America is at stake? I don’t know how to exactly pinpoint why, but it has been. 

I’ve been praying for this election for quite some time now, and I encourage you to do the same. 

Even if you can’t vote, pray for America. We need Jesus far more than we need a president.

(via)

I think many of us might feel the weight of this election, some more than others, but we feel it to some degree. This election can and will affect us, either now or in the future. I don’t think voting is something we should take lightly; it’s a privilege that we take for granted — meaning, some people have flat out said they aren’t going to vote. Do you realize that you have this fantastic freedom to vote and you’re going to waste it? Make your voice be heard! 

We need a strong leader who will help be the best for America. We don’t know exactly if these men will keep their word or not? But what we can do is have faith in one of them (your own opinion). That’s the one you vote for, you pray with all of your heart that the one who gets elected as the next President of the United States of America can fulfill what God wants done for our country. 

We, as His children, don’t know His will for us but I pray that His will be done. 

Sometimes I write about a future love ...

Sometimes I write about a future love. Someone who is existing now in this world. Maybe he is loved by a girl. Maybe he loves her back. Maybe, like me he is alone. 

I write away some of the loneliness by writing to him, or about him. I don’t write because of the loneliness, mostly because the loneliness is just about being a human. There isn’t an easy cure. Some people stay busy, some people deny it. Some people stare it in the face and move on with their days. Some people acknowledge that loneliness is something that you can over come with determination. 

However, we all need someone. Someones. Plural. I have love. I have self love, I have love from wonderful amazing women. I have love from my parents, and my siblings. I have people that love me.  

I know that there is a man, as flawed as I am, that I will meet, someday, and we will give it a go. It being love. 

Until then. I will write. And, one day I will share all these rambling prose to him. Maybe he’s already reading them. Maybe he has no idea. 

Maybe. 

Until then, I write. Not for him, but for me. And, a little bit for you reading this. 

(via)

In-tune

There are days where you feel more in-tune with things. It could be your relationships, friendships, academics — but for me I feel more in-tune to the feeling of complete thankfulness. 

I am graced with the presence of the loving Father daily. Some days I don’t acknowledge it and neglect to praise Him, it’s because of my selfish heart that I think I created my awesome self, with success and family and where I am in life. (How dare I?) When in fact I should be thanking the One who created me, the One who gave me opportunities, and who pours out grace upon grace on me. 

I forget it and am blinded by my selfishness. 

The past few days or so I have been asking Him to reveal Himself to me more, help open up my eyes to the things unseen — and sweet mercy! He surely has. I’ve been wearing a joyful heart, and not out of forcing myself to, but because I honestly am thankful. I am provided with so much joy from Him, it makes my heart almost burst. (I am not crazy, am I — please tell me others experience this?) 

It seems as though saying thank you is not enough. Surely the God of the Universe deserves so much more. But He knows my heart, He knows me. All I can do is live for Him, pray continually, give praise, and love the people He created. 

Simply, thankful.

Dear you,

I’ve done you a great disservice.

I kind of gave up on you, for a little while, I’ll admit that.

You know things go so well for a while, or in my case for three years, and you just think things are figured out. Really, I was naive to think I had it figured out, but I did.

I was going to marry him, I told myself and that’s what he told me. And once those words were said, for the first time, that’s when it stopped.

I stopped praying for you.

I’m ashamed to even be writing this. I am overly guilty for it, though. I thought God had already shown him to me — we would live happily ever after. Well, that “happily ever after” ended about two and a half months ago. And I can say, peacefully, I’m glad it did. We’ve both moved on, he’s dating a very nice girl (who ultimately makes him happy), I’m happy where I am — without the past two and a half months I would not be in this growing season in my life. I am learning to rely on God more and more. (And scoping out coffee shops has been fun, too!) 

I’d like to say I’m sorry. This came to my attention after a conversation with a dear friend this past weekend, that I did stop praying. She simply said, Meg you cannot give up. Keep praying because he is out there. If it’s God’s will that you be with the man of your dreams then it will happen. You cannot take control of your life, for your own timing.

Shoot, I really needed to hear this. I needed to be reminded that I don’t know the plans that will unfold for my life, I need to have faith that that guy (you) is out there.

So, I’d like to say that you are back on my mind. You are daily consuming my prayers and that I have faith that God is doing some great things in your life. In His timing, we’ll meet. 

With love,

Meg

Single

You know, I think it takes a strong person to handle the title “single.”

Someone who can handle the pressures of the nagging question, “So, are you seeing anyone yet?” Or the constant reminders of relationships, when you see guys and girls walking hand-in-hand or going out to eat.  Or the instant newsfeed of the social media, relaying information of your “ex” consistently mentioning that new young lady.

It’s tiring. It’s overwhelming at times. It’s heartbreaking. It’s something that you don’t take lightly. But it’s also building you into a better you. You could wallow, or you go and pick up those pieces, you wipe those tears, and you move on. Maybe not as fiercely as you’d hoped, maybe not as fast as you hoped, but man do you move on. 

And that’s when the emergence of strength, confidence, boldness comes to the surface. Sure, you have those qualities in a relationship, but in singleness — it’s different. It’s a sense of power that you feel deep inside of you. It’s like opening the curtains on a bright, sun-filled morning — a sense of refreshment.

You don’t need that other person to “survive.”

You rely on Christ, you rely on your family and friends. You don’t have to take the next month or so on, alone. You take it on day by day, little by little and you learn to embrace the title of “single.” And next time you get that nagging question, you politely and confidently respond, “No, I’m perfectly content where I am.” — and the best part is you mean it. 

And then I remember why it will always be no with you and I

I went on a date last night and then you texted and asked, again, whether I would come there. Start our days with coffee, end with you making dinner. Forever. I feel myself tug towards yes and then I remember why it will always be no with you and I.

There are people in your life who are going to love you for all of the wrong reasons. They will love you for the best part of your face, the best part of you naked, the best mood on your best day, the best story you ever wrote, the best outfit you ever wore.

They are going to miss the scar on the underside of your nose from the time your older brothers dared you to run across a pile of logs. They won’t know that you fell on a hidden nail just as you completed the challenge. They’ll miss the scar on your finger, too from the time you were seven and closed a swiss army knife on it. They won’t understand that these are two of only a handful of things you can remember about your childhood. They’ll notice that you have great tits, but they’ll miss that your thumb tucks into their palm when you’re walking together and that your eyes have darker circles when a migraine is coming. They won’t know you get migraines. They won’t ask where the story you wrote came from, so they’ll never know that it was true. They’ll love it because it feels real to them. They’ll miss knowing the sweatshirt full of holes that they criticized you for wearing was your dads. You might tell them some of these things along the way, but they will remember the best things instead.

They will love your good moods, your energy, your sense of humor, but miss that you never turn to them, but rather to a shower or a pillow or the back of your throat to shed tears. They won’t ever consider you strong.

When the parts that aren’t your best come out, some people will shield their eyes as if you have just forced them to look directly into the sun for hours until their irises burn. They’ll silently make you promise to never show them that again. Those things are not to be shown. Be at your best so I can love you. I would love you more if only you never show me those things.

And you do not marry those people. You do not sit and sleepily drink coffee with those people. You leave those people and you remind yourself that they missed the better parts of you.

(via)

Eleven Years Later

Ten Eleven Years Later: A Tribute 9/11
My favorite 9/11 tribute in New York City can be found in Bryant Park. 2,819 empty chairs are set up on the lawn facing the site where the World Trade Center once stood, one chair for every life lost. The number of empty chairs captures the enormity of the lives lost and the stark emptiness of it just drives home the point that I hope is never forgotten. 2,819 people were here one moment and gone the next. 2,819 went to work or boarded a plane one morning ten eleven years ago thinking it would be another ordinary day and they never came home.

(via)

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

(via)

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


Realizing how relevant this passage has been to me the past few months. So thankful for the Father to provide strength, courage, wisdom. He was remolding me, creating a better me. He was the Solid Rock, and still is forever and ever. So thankful that I didn’t abandon Him, which could have looked liked the easier route. Thankful for His loving hand, to lend the way. 

Simply, overjoyed.

Do you ever have those seasons of your life where you are beyond happy, overjoyed, and just excited for life? Those times where things fall into place, despite the hardships you've encountered previously?

For me, it's been a wonderful week (and more). Classes started, I thoroughly enjoy each professor. I've been offered (and accepted) a new job, in the field of study I am currently aiming for. I have been encouraged by so many friends, lately, and I am ever grateful for it. I am getting wonderful guidance from my advisor this year, and finally someone is taking the time to help with some struggles in school (a long story for those who don't know this struggle).

And I feel as though I have grown in my faith and dependence on Christ, more than the past year. We all have those periods where you feel as though your faith has had little to no growth; a plateau. I am finally getting out of that and growth is happening and I am ever grateful for it!  Things are looking up and I owe it all to Him. Prayer pays off, and friends who help guide you, push you, they are amazing encouragements.

I'm currently in a place of joy. Praising Him who provides the daily doses of grace, who loves me beyond measure, and for the examples I have set before me from fellow Christians.

I would say I am thankful, but that's just scratching the surface. You have no idea how much you all mean to me and how much you've all helped me become who I am today.

From: Highlighted Life

it’s like that sometimes, life. the future you thought was stone begins to flake and crack, chasms form and reveal cool dark places that scare you but you touch. days later you’re still cold, the dark places have been doing their work, trying desperately to change you. they whisper, “it can’t be the same, you can’t be the same” and it’s tempting to listen. to hand it over to the darkness and feel sorry for yourself. self pity is an easy betrayal after all. 

days later still you might be on a beach, the sun might be setting and instead of the darkness you might give into a cliche. you remember that your heroes are just that. heroes. people in your life who have time and time again been extraordinary and you smile and hope, no believe, that this time, this time it’s no different. 

(via)

I Still Chose to Praise Him

                                               

Joy is not necessarily the absence of suffering, it is the presence of God. — Sam Storms

This spoke truth to me, today, as I was reading through some blogs. I have had my fair share of small trials recently, and I have grown, I have learned, I have praised God, I have leaned on God, I have cried out to God, I have also received unending grace and love.  

I have copious amounts of journal entries; lines filled with prayer and scripture, rants and praise. Some are tear stained, but more are filled with the light that He has shown through, learning and trusting Him. 

Upon reading this quote, it made me realize the raw truth. Though I will have undoubtedly pain-filled days, if I recognize the grace, the love, the care, the presence of our loving Father, than it can be produced into utter joy.
I may worry about whether I can make it from this past paycheck to the next, whether I can do better this semester than previous, whether I continue discipline, etc. I need to realize that He has it under control, that it's His plans that will play out, not mine. I will still praise Him. 

I will not dismiss the suffering because my Father knows that I would not be here if I didn't suffer.

I am more so thankful, thankful for the sufferings because I have grown.

rivers and roads

been talkin’ ‘bout the way things change

and my family lives in a different state

if you don’t know what to make of this

then we will not relate

it’s funny how this song could have one meaning one month, and then a completely different one the next.

growing and learning to love it.

A Day of Waiting.

waiting until 1:30pm will be the toughest struggle for us, today. 

actually, waiting the past week and a half has been a struggle in itself, for today. 

biopsy was done.

results are back.

consultation is this afternoon, for him.

it’s all in God’s hands. we’ve but no choice but to rely on Him; hand over total control.

i mean, what else can we do?

prayers for strength and comfort, today, would be welcomed. 

my grandfather has been through a lot the past two weeks (spinal surgery which led to discovery of spot on lungs). 

happy tuesday. 

i can say that because i know His will is playing out.

we’ve got to embrace it. 

we can’t change it.

and be thankful for another moment of breathing.

Wisdom

Good friend, don’t forget all I’ve taught you; take to heart my commands. They’ll help you live a long, long time, a long life lived full and well. 

Don’t lose your grip on Love and Loyalty. Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart. Earn a reputation for living well in God’s eyes and the eyes of the people. 

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline; don’t sulk under his loving correction. It’s the child he loves that God corrects; a father’s delight is behind all this. 

(Proverbs 3: 1-12, MSG)

I really needed to read this, today! Especially verses 5-12 (the last paragraph). All too quickly do I try to figure things out on my own. I’ve fallen while doing that, and as of recent, when I’ve been putting more trust and faith into Him; He’s been making my life better. Some choices are difficult, but He knows that that is what needed to happen. 

It’s amazing to come across verses that are so relevant in your life.

Thankful.

Sometimes some of your prayers are not answered. Sometimes your prayers are not answered in the time frame you’ve been wanting. Sometimes your prayers seem like empty words. Sometimes you lose the faith, even if a glimpse, that He’ll not answer your prayers.

Sometimes you pray days, months, years. 

In my case, I can attest to partial prayer answering. I’ve been bound this summer by some limitations, financially. I should have taken another summer job, but was ignorant to the fact I would not be receiving as many hours. 

In this “low” that I have been in the past 2-3 months, I’ve been praying for God to provide. For Him to provide either with answers in another job (mainly this one), or just somehow help me make ends meet. 

This week I can attest to how gracious He is. 

I have had many babysitting opportunities recently. A five hour gig yesterday, another five hour gig today. I received a text from the people I frequently sit for, asking for me to help out Friday morning, and then later this afternoon I received a call asking for help for two days next week, on top of two other days I am babysitting for another couple. 

As well as more house/dog sitting jobs!

Shoot, if you don’t see this as a blessing than I don’t know what it is?

Babysitting makes great money, untaxed. You get to hang out with kids (grant it they’re not always the best, like the boys Monday). But goodness, you make $10-$15 per hour depending on how generous the family is. I have made more the past two days than in my last paycheck (yes, hours are that scarce). 

I am so thankful that God has heard my cries. He has responded and provided. 

Thankful.

I Worry.

Therefore I tell you: do not worry about your life.

What you will eat, what you will drink.

Or about your body.

Or what you will wear.

Is not life more important than food?

Is not the body more important than clothes?

Look at the birds of the air;

They do not sow, or reap, or save  -

Yet your heavenly Father?

He feeds them.

Are you not much more valuable than they?

Who of you, by worrying, can add a single hour to your life?

And why do you worry about clothes?

Go look – and see how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or toil.

Yet I tell you that not even Solomon, in all of his splendor and wealth, was dressed like a flower in the field.

Not even Solomon, the man who impressed the Queen of Sheba.

If that is how God clothes the grass, which is here today, gone tomorrow,

will he not much more clothe you?

Oh you, oh you of little faith.

So do not worry, saying,

What shall I eat?

What shall I drink?

What shall I wear?

For those who do not know their Father run after all these things, and

Your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

But seek first his kingdom

his righteousness

and all these things will be given to you.

Do not worry about tomorrow,

for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

(via)

You are good

when there’s nothing good in me.

And I mean absolutely nothing. Sometimes I have to just remember my total depravity without God. I am not good on my own, or in myself. God is the one who is good. Him alone. The good that is in me now is because He is good and filled me with His goodness. It is literally God’s Holy Spirit residing in me that bears good fruit in me; it’s not of myself.

I am not good.

God is good.

This is My Prayer in the Desert

Lord, You hear our prayers. Comfort us, relieve our anxieties in this waiting. Let us lean on You for strength, because God, You know we cannot fight this fight without You. We’re clinging to You and only You during this time. We love You and help us respect Your will, whatever it may be. 

________________________________________________

Psalm 23.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

 He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

 He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies;

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.

you know,

I’ve been too consumed with the idea that God is still “working” on the man of my dreams, that He is continuing to mold him, guide him, until he is ready for me. I’ve been too busy focusing on that, when I neglected the fact that God could still be working on me. 

How dare I be too prideful to think that I am ready for something of such commitment. 

The sermon this morning hit home. (I will post later this week). 

It pointed out that we get frustrated with God for not working in our timing, but when in fact he is testing us, almost, our patience.

Just an eye-opening thing to hear, especially after this week. 

my dearest daughter,

“This is about my someday daughter, already stung stained with insecurity begging, ‘Mom, will I be pretty?’ I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer, ‘No, the word “pretty” is unworthy of everything you will be and no child of mine will be contained in five letters. You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing, but, you will never be merely pretty."

—	Katie Makkai

I'm so glad God give us spiritual lows

If we were on top of the world all the time, we’d never look at ourselves honestly, we’d never have any kind of Godly fear, we would never grow in our relationship with God, we would be blind.

C.S. Lewis said that pain is Gods megaphone to rouse a deaf world. Spiritual lows make us ask questions, it makes us examine ourselves more honestly, it humbles us, and if we’re honest, we draw closer to God…when we feel farthest from him.

My sweet Daughter,

honesty is what I ask of you.

to get down to the deep hurts.

to allow me into the rough.

accept that you need me.

that I am enough for you.

that you are enough for me.

I enjoy taking on your yoke.

so that you may take on mine.

un-satisfaction leads to dependence.

so let go & let me in.

break down & move those walls.

all I ask is for your all.

carrying your cross each day.

but that shouldn’t be a burden.

if you allow me to carry it with you.

it will be a joy.

let me be your joy.

I don’t need your hand, I just want it.

honesty is what I ask of you.

via

thankful for those days.

I will be quite honest with you. I was a bitter young lady, this morning. I was grumpy, tired, and a concerned soul. 

Waking at 3:00am and not being able to pass the “almost asleep” stage.

My good friend isn't talking. He has been on my heart and I’m concerned for him, but he’s the type who locks all emotion up in him and doesn’t budge. I’m the kind who likes to help when “problems” arise, and not being able to is troubling sometimes. 

But I have since gone on a run; the kind of run where you run and just keep running. Your mind carries you and you reflect and simply think. 

And it got me thinking, I don’t have control over this life of mine, nor his. I have this tendency to like to have control over certain things {which is surprising because of my care-free attitude towards most of life}. And I realized I don’t. God ultimately has control and it’s a bitter battle between He and I. 

But in this run, my attitude switched, recognizing all I have to be thankful for. And I am thankful for the listening-ears that He’s provided, and the willingness to listen when appropriate. I cannot push one to talk, so that I can get satisfaction in helping them. I need to have the opposite motive. I need to want to listen, because I want to listen, not so that I can feel better about myself; like another “gold star” for me.

Moreover, I’m thankful for the discovery of new things. Be it music, quotes, people.

As I posted the video, “You Don’t Know How Lucky You Are,” I realized I truly, in it’s truest sense, don’t know how “lucky” I really am. I posted yesterday about being experienced, and I got a kind note from a dear friend. She stated something like being content in where you are and being able to find “experience” in the everyday things. It rang close to home for me. I can travel fifteen minutes away, in two different directions, and be in two different states.

Shoot, how could I not experience something glorious out there? I’ve got to recognize and appreciate what I have, for all it’s worth. By doing so, I believe I could become more experienced — and if not experienced, than definitely thankful.   

So, thank you. Thank you to Him for bringing light on the subject, in which I am having difficulty with. I’m in a much better place this afternoon

being proud of the worn out.

Do you have that bible that you take everywhere? The one you stick in your backpack, in your purse, shove into the backseat of your car, to small group and then to church? It’s coming apart at the seams, there are sections of pages that could fall out at any turn of the page, there are notes from the past five years or more, it’s over flowing with bulletins and handouts. 

My bible is starting to become that bible. It’s starting to become the one with notes in the margins, where I have come across a verse in two different stages in my life, and I’ve had to differentiate the notes by two different colored pens. Where I have to be careful that the index cards don’t fall out, from the small groups I’ve been to, or that the one or two handouts/bulletins don’t fall out. 

And I found myself thinking to myself, this afternoon, as I went over the scriptures at how much I do use my bible. I’m not saying this to boast or to try and portray that I am better than you because I use my bible more; I certainly am not.

But that’s where sometimes my pride takes over. I sit next to someone in a small group and they say flip to 1 Peter chapters 3 & 4, for example. Boom. I’ve got notes and underlines and brackets filling those pages. I glance over to the person next to me and they’ve got maybe one or two things underlined. And then this horrible thing happens. I think to myself, I must be better at studying the bible. Say what?! This could be a sin. {maybe?} I use my mind to pretend to slap my wrist, like shame on me. How do I have the audacity to think this? Am I a horrible person for thinking this? 

That’s where it got me thinking. I’ve got this bible, one that I’ve had since being baptized a few years back. It’s filled, pages crinkled and binding coming undone. I ask myself, am I still using this to study or as a way to show pride? Do I continue to bring this bible to church to show off at how much I use it? 

Then I ask myself, should I transition into another bible and begin my journey again through the passages? I can still use my other bible at home for personal study, but if it distracts me and causes me to be prideful I need to leave it at home. I feel bad for admitting this, but it’s the honest to God truth. I can’t be proud of the worn out bible, in order to try and show myself off. 

It’s time to start a new chapter of my life with a new bible.